Anarchists deserve a time out...with a billy club

        Remember that time you got really mad because your mom wouldn't buy you a toy at the store?  Maybe you threw yourself angrily on the ground, pounding your fists and screaming bloody murder.  Maybe you upset a display of Tonka trucks just to show your mother what kind of crazy wrath she was about to incur.  Maybe...someone had to call security.  Maybe this happened; and if it did, I would probably excuse you because you were three.

She is even younger than three...and oh so sad/mad

        If you are between the ages of 18 and one million years old, and you were throwing a tantrum in down town Seattle today, I do NOT excuse you because you know better.

You dumb ass

        I am all for freedom of speech, and being allowed to have a different opinion.  But do not waste the time of the Seattle Police Department- not to mention tax payer dollars- because your dad never told you he loved you, and now you can't afford therapy.  It's not my fault you're dysfunctional and stupid.  

        If you were on 6th avenue blowing shit up today, and your mission was to make everyone want to punch you in the face, congratulations.  Mission accomplished.  Also, if I see one video on the news of someone crying about how they got pepper sprayed for coming at a cop with a spear made out of a flag pole and an incendiary device made out of a juice box, I am going to lose it.  

This is a horrible picture of me... starting to lose it- probably because I look like Jabba the Hut

        Unfortunately, we all know being in the PC city of Seattle means that once this truly dies down, the news stations will stop playing videos of these assholes smashing citizens' car windows, vandalizing buildings, and getting aggressive with police.  There will, instead, be a constant loop of the one person that got pepper sprayed through this whole ridiculous ordeal.  The foolish public will then turn on SPD, and demand the blood and/or an effigy of the officer who performed this heinous act [of self defense from a lunatic.]  

        All I hope, is that when (not if) this happens, the Chief of Police holds a press conference.  I then hope it goes something like this:

Komo 5 Reporter: Chief Diaz, what is your response to the allegation that officer blabbity blah pepper 

                              sprayed a protester running at him with a bomb made out of a juice box?  

Chief Diaz:             Oh I'm sorry, all I heard was, "Blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp.*"

Komo 5 Reporter:  Um, Sir?  The Public is expecting a statement regarding why the SPD turned to 

                                 violence to maintain order on May Day.

Chief Diaz:             You know why!*  

        And then the Seattle Chief of police would leave the press conference middle fingers blazing at the cameras.

        Sadly, this isn't Texas; it's Washington State.  

        Don't worry, when I go running tomorrow I am packing some heat.  I am going to be a freaking vigilante.  I am running sprints with an itchy trigger finger on my pepper spray.  Consider this fair warning. If you are wearing all black, and/or look at me like you want to spray paint the anarchy symbol on my face, I'm ready.  *Note: if you are a normal human, and you just like to wear black, do not look at me tomorrow.

You know why!

*Yes, I believe the best form of a press conference would include the authority figure in the room quoting silly movies like, "Mr. Deeds," and "What Happens in Vegas."  I'm not sorry.