Epic Fail

        I have a confession: I am the fat kid in my ballet class.  Get all your jokes out now.  No, I don't have a tutu, but that is a hilariously sarcastic question.  I know it's super 5th grade that I'm in ballet, but it's a good work out, and apparently, I need it.  I consider myself an average size person.  I don't need a bunch of 22 year old college kids pirouetting circles around me (literally) in size XS leotards.  It makes me feel like I have some kind of excess growth hormone disorder.  Geesh.

"It's so hard finding a small enough leotard"- I know right?

        This all brings me to my next point.  What does the average fool do when faced with a certain to significant amount of failure?  This doesn't really happen to me very often-obvi.  So seriously, people, what to do?

Mini Fail

        I know what you're thinking, and you're [sort of] right.  This hat seems like a bit more than a simple 'mini fail.'  While it is an epic fail as far as hats go, it is only a mini fail in the grand scheme of things.  The good news is, it's an easy fix.  Burn the hat, burn the picture, and as long as that image isn't burned into any one's mind, we're all good.

        How about a medium fail?  Anyone ever have one of those?  I had a medium fail last Tuesday when I came home from work and found Eric's keys on the "wrong" key hook.  To his credit, I don't think he was aware that there was (and is) a right or wrong place to hang his keys.  Sooooo, let's just say he was a little surprised when I sighed, "Ugh. You're always taking my key hook!"  I can neither confirm nor deny any use of profanity associated with this event.  I can verify, however, that I needed a Mulligan, and promptly took one after that entrance.  

Don't take my key hook- RUDE

        Burn a hat here, take a Mulligan there- these mini to medium style failures are fixable.  Okay, fine, but what about things you can't fix overnight, or even... ever?  What if you're the fat kid in ballet class?  I could lose a limb and still outweigh all those chicks by about twenty bills.  Plus, I'd like to keep all my limbs, as losing one would make ballet class exponentially harder to be awesome in.  Even if I know it's actually a good thing to be the fat kid amongst a bunch of 90 pound bony freaks, sometimes it feels like an epic fail.  

        There are obviously much more serious epic fails on the spectrum, but I don't want to sit here, get hippie dippy, and talk about feelings.  Whether its an epic fail of the day, the week, the month, or even the year, you probably can't make it go away with a magic wand.  I do have a recipe to help with my own personal epic failures, though.  You can borrow it if you want, but there is a patent pending, so don't even try to sell this on the black market.

         First, I am nice to myself.  (Disgustingly close to hippie dippy, I know.)  I tell myself, "You're the prom queen."  Next I get my nails done and eat a cupcake.  Aaaaaaand then I get over myself.  

If that's not awesome, I don't know what is

           We all have moments when we wish we had done something differently, said something better, or skipped dessert.  It's so common that it makes me wonder if maybe none of it is any kind of a failure.  It's probably just life.

        Be nice to yourself... and then get over yourself.  Trust me, it is smarter not harder.