When Your Garmin and Your Balance Betray You

       If I was in a relationship with the action of falling, our Facebook status would read, "it's complicated."  As you may recall, or have previously witnessed, I fall a lot.  You may also recall or have previously witnessed that there is usually no perpetrating factor for said fall.  For instance, if my job was to stand on a very skinny ledge all day while spiders crawled up and down my body I would be falling all over the place.  Obvi.  Yet, I have a very safe job within a very safe life involving very few skinny ledges, and little to no spider interactions.  Still, I fall.

Imagine if this bastard was climbing on you- you'd fall off a ledge too.

        Today I fell on 1st Avenue South.  "Again?" You ask.  Yes, again.  "Didn't you just fall and rip your pants a few weeks ago?" Sure did.  I fall all the time people!  It just so happened that this morning at approximately 0823 AM, I tripped- I like to think over a crack in the sidewalk- and bit it pretty hard.  Dumb.

It looks like I am tripping here- No, I'm just dancing.

        Miraculously, I jumped back up and continued running- oh yeah, this was about 0.25 miles into my morning run.  I know what you're thinking- was I drunk? No.  Good question, though.  Is this just my new thing?  Am I that girl that randomly trips and falls over pretty much nothing?  I don't want to be that girl... Although, I guess technically it wouldn't be a new thing.  

If I keep this up, I'll end up in a cone.

        I told my Pilates guy about it.  He was like, "Are you okay?!" Yes.  "Are you taking some new medications?"  No.  "Okay because they say the leading reason old people fall is because they're on so many medications."

        Great.

        I told Rico, "I fell while I was running today on 1st Avenue just past the Mission."  Rico countered with a predictable, "Did you trip over something?"  I told him my crack in the sidewalk theory.  "All the way to the ground?" He was incredulous.  And you know what? So was I!  All the way to the ground twice in a matter of months!?  Who's running this shit show?  (Don't answer that.) "Did people laugh?" he asked.  

        Great.

There was no banana peel involved.  O'Doyle Rules!

        There is good news in this whole sordid tale, however.  At least this time I didn't rip my pants! Good thing too because they were from the hundred dollar store, and I can't afford the cost of replacement , as we have already learned from previous falls.

       There you have it.  If you see a person running in Pioneer Square and yard sale-ing on to the pavement, it is either me or an elderly homeless person who just started some new medication.  You should probably pretend not to notice this individual either way.  If you have to laugh, make it minimal- just in case all those mean things people say about Karma are true.

Next time I fall, I'm just going to act like I hit the deck to practice my surfing.