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| This is me and Rico at a Shins concert. We're so unoriginal. |
I was thinking about a life soundtrack- you know, a soundtrack for your life? (Also, something white people like.) Don't tell me you never think, "If my life was a movie, this is the song that would be playing right now." Okay, you're lying if you "never" think about the music that would be in your big scene.
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| and scene. |
As I was running the other day, I was listening to DMX- obvi. After I laughed a little to myself about how funny it is to run while listening to poetic lyrics like, "You're broke, the kid ain't yours, and e'rbody know!" I started creating a scene in my mind. It was along the lines of the movie shot where the hero gets out of an Aston Martin in an Armani suit, and starts elegantly filling the bad guys full of lead with a Glock 17. And if you guessed that I have no idea what I just said, you are correct. That James Bond knock off of a description was not what was running through my head while I was, well...running.
Fade in
The sun is shining in Seattle. A white Escalade screeches to a halt in the Schooner Exact Parking lot.
The driver's door opens.
CU (That's "close up" for those of you who don't write awesome mini screenplays.)
Blond woman inearly 30's mid 20's steps out, dressed head to toe in Lululemon yoga clothes. Fawn colored French Bulldog with a pink rhinestone collar is tucked under her arm.
Someone snorts- it is unclear if it is the woman or the dog.
Woman turns to lock the Escalade. Alarm on SUV chirps, and she lowers her sunglasses to shade herself from the blazing Seattle sun on this 65 degree day in July. She looks super cool.
Right?! Now, the question is not which song to use because the answer is clearly, "Party Up (up in here.)" The question is, do I cut right in with, "You wack, you're twisted, your girl's a hoe," OR "Listen! Yo ass is about to be missin'. You know who gon find you? Some old man fishin!'?" Also, it's probably more along the lines of the final scene in "The Hangover 3" than any James Bond scene. Seriously.
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| You get the idea. |
What I was pondering, was, "What would my hero scene in a movie look like?" You should know by now that I'm going to tell you- whether you want to know or not. Let me paint a little picture for you...
Fade in
The sun is shining in Seattle. A white Escalade screeches to a halt in the Schooner Exact Parking lot.
The driver's door opens.
CU (That's "close up" for those of you who don't write awesome mini screenplays.)
Blond woman in
Someone snorts- it is unclear if it is the woman or the dog.
Woman turns to lock the Escalade. Alarm on SUV chirps, and she lowers her sunglasses to shade herself from the blazing Seattle sun on this 65 degree day in July. She looks super cool.
Right?! Now, the question is not which song to use because the answer is clearly, "Party Up (up in here.)" The question is, do I cut right in with, "You wack, you're twisted, your girl's a hoe," OR "Listen! Yo ass is about to be missin'. You know who gon find you? Some old man fishin!'?" Also, it's probably more along the lines of the final scene in "The Hangover 3" than any James Bond scene. Seriously.
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| This is me and Fairbanks at a Ludacris concert. Different rapper, but equally as hilarious as DMX. |
You don't think we were out of place do you? Me neither. I think we blend right in with our matching tank tops purchased at the Nordstrom Rack earlier that day. Also, aren't we glad I'm out of the headband phase? Hate it.
I was going to go into this whole schtick about my theory that rappers like DMX and Ludacris are just trying to be funny, but then I started looking up specific lyrics. Turns out they are occasionally quite funny with lines such as,
"All white top, all white belt, all white jeans, body looking like milk!"
However, there are several funny phrases that can't be re-posted due to this writer's potential PG-13 audience. Also, there are lots of terrible lines that are not even close to hilarious, especially when reading them instead of hearing them. (I don't know why, but somehow, reading them made the lyrics worse.) At any rate, no schtick will be had here. My theory has been disproved during my brief stint of research on "Lyrics A-Z." Still good music to run with, but I do not recommend listening to it in the presence of developing young minds or people who are easily offended by legitimately shocking vernacular.
I was going to go into this whole schtick about my theory that rappers like DMX and Ludacris are just trying to be funny, but then I started looking up specific lyrics. Turns out they are occasionally quite funny with lines such as,
"All white top, all white belt, all white jeans, body looking like milk!"
However, there are several funny phrases that can't be re-posted due to this writer's potential PG-13 audience. Also, there are lots of terrible lines that are not even close to hilarious, especially when reading them instead of hearing them. (I don't know why, but somehow, reading them made the lyrics worse.) At any rate, no schtick will be had here. My theory has been disproved during my brief stint of research on "Lyrics A-Z." Still good music to run with, but I do not recommend listening to it in the presence of developing young minds or people who are easily offended by legitimately shocking vernacular.
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| Exception: never listen to explicit rap music while running if your mother is present. It will be awkward for both of you when Ludacris mentions swimming lessons involving *ahem*... inappropriate parts. |
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