Just a Spoonful of Sugar...

         I was reading about cat behavior the other night- because I'm that person now- and I was all thrilled because it said if your cat grooms you, it is basically the highest compliment.  I thought, "Oh, Lola licks my arm sometimes! She loves me."  Then I saw her licking a pole today.  She is either more mentally challenged than originally projected, or she's a stripper.  Great.  I have no idea where that mouth has been.

disgusting.

        Speaking of which, one of our residents told me yesterday that "another" resident said I look like Hugh Hefner's ex-girlfriend, Holly Madison. Rude.

Other than our penchant for nautically themed outfits and small animals- we pretty much have nothing in common.

She was not nearly as excited about her tiny puppy as I was about mine... Then again, that may be all the farther her face can move.

     

        Now, I actually like Holly Madison, and had a terrible habit of watching "The Girls Next Door" when she was on that show.   I just remember the first time I saw her on TV, I thought she looked like an alien deer. I know that sounds mean, but you have to remember, I'm from Wisconsin, where there happen to be a lot of deer and almost ZERO humans who look like this.  Since leaving Wisconsin, I have lived in Colorado and Washington State.  None of these places are riddled with women under 40 who have had multiple plastic surgery *ahem* enhancements.  Let's be real for a minute (no pun intended,) unless you live in Bellevue, you are surrounded by dirty hippies in this city.  If you come across a broad who's wearing a bra, it's your lucky day.  People in Seattle don't look like Holly Madison- especially not me.

This is me in Hollywood.  And why wouldn't I be wearing a grandma cardigan?

        We had a school- age patient today who told the Nurse Practitioner on our team, "Your name is 'Spaghetti'!"  Which, because I am also ,mentally, a school age child, I thought was absolutely hilarious.  He also told us this short gem of a story (mind you, his parents and grandparents were also in the room...)

        Oh! And sometimes, I go into the kitchen and I SNEAK sugar.  Yeah, I get a spoon, and I get a chair, and I bring it over to the sugar jar.  I climb up on the chair and I sneak a whole spoonful of sugar!  Then I put the cover back on the sugar jar and put the spoon and the chair back so my parents won't notice.

        If you could have seen the looks on his family members faces, you would have died.  This was clearly news to all of them.  P.S. Did I mention I actually love my job?  (Mostly, anyway, but let's not quibble about the minutiae.)

        Obviously I can't go into details about this person, but if you saw him, you would notice he is different than most of us.  Still, as good old "Spaghetti" the Nurse Practitioner would say, "That's just the way he was put together."  This kid was hilarious, and had zero qualms about his appearance not being the same as everyone else (as was evidenced by him running down the halls in his underwear- obvi.) 

          Don't get me wrong, the moral of this story is not to judge people for altering their appearances.  If you want fake boobs, fine, but don't do it for your grandpa/boyfriend who is just going to trade you in for a new model once you're over 27 years old anyway.   At the end of the day, do what it is you need to do in order to feel good, confident, peaceful, happy, etc.  I am personally quite glad to sneak a little sugar and stay the way I was put together.

Right?