Stripper Lodge

           Eric woke up this morning, and told me about a dream he had.  It was pretty strange, and fairly entertaining, so I thought I would share the account from his perspective...

        We went on vacation to Vancouver [B.C.], and you were going to work out, so I left the hotel and drove to the beach.  I was sitting on the beach with Kittles, when all of the sudden, I couldn't find her.  I panicked and started running back to the hotel in nothing but my swim trunks.

        Well, the only weird part so far is that he brought Lola to the beach without a leash.

        I got to the hotel and I realized that I had just left the car, and my backpack with my wallet and everything in it on the beach.  I tried to ask the concierge for help but he just told me, "Sir, you really need to put a shirt and shoes on here."  

        A reasonable request...

        I pleaded with him, "You gotta help me out.  I left all my stuff on the beach, and I can't find my cat.  I just need to get into my room so I can call my wife."  "I will need to see some I.D. before I can let you into one of our rooms," the concierge insisted.  A crowd began to gather, when, suddenly, some white trash strippers happened into the lobby.

        I know what you're thinking- don't worry, this doesn't get gross-  unless you are offended by accidental wildlife homicide.

        "Ya'll should come up to our lodge," the head stripper announced, "It's not a tawdry strip club.  It's more like a lodge.  Our Stripper Lodge is family friendly."  

        Eric was still trying to convince the concierge to let him into our room...

        "You can't get into your room," the concierge announced, "I'm closing the hotel- we're all going to Stripper Lodge!"  The lobby crowd cheered, and began to pile onto a bus headed for said destination.  I told them, "I need to find my cat and my wife.  I can't go to the lodge-"

        Okay, I am quite certain he added this in for my benefit only.  Like he would really need convincing to get on a bus headed for Stripper Lodge? Come on. 

        I ended up on the bus-

        Told you.

        -and I realized that Kitty was sitting next to me.  She was there the whole time!  Then one of the strippers noticed I was only wearing my swim trunks, so she gave me a pink t- shirt that said "Stripper Lodge" across the chest.  It was really tight.

        Obvi.

        On the way to the lodge we hit two deer- the stripper driving the bus was CRAZY."  

        She would have to be.

        We arrived at our destination, and Kitty and I were hanging out when I found someone to drive us back to the beach.  All my stuff was still right where I left it!

        That's the beauty of Canada- no one steals your shit or breaks into your car.  (*Ahem* LAKEWOOD!)

Rude.

        That's when my phone started ringing, and it was you, "Where have you been?! What the French toast* is going on?! Where is Lola? I've left you like eight messages!"  "I'm sorry," I tried to explain, "I left all my stuff on the beach, and I didn't have my phone.  I'll be back to the hotel in fifteen minutes- why were you working out for so long?"


*edited for my PG-13 reader(s)

        I think this dream is amazing for so many reasons.  First of all, if there were to be a, family friendly Stripper Lodge, would it not be in Canada?  It would, and you all know it.   I really like that this dream has a complete story line including a plot, conflict, and resolution.  Mainly, though,  I love that Eric was primarily wearing nothing but swim trunks, running, panic stricken through the streets of Vancouver while looking for a facially challenged Persian cat.

I was just waiting for you on the bus- duh!

        There's just one thing that worries me.  Does this mean all I do is work out and yell?  No wonder Eric ran off with Kittles and hopped the first bus he could find to Stripper Lodge.